To write love on her arms.

 It's been a really tough last few days for me. One of my bestest friends passed away on Friday night.

You know that gorgeous, vibrant girl- the life of the party, the centre of attention (not even on purpose, just by nature)? That was Alaleh.
Her voice was loud and commanding; her laugh was infectious (if not slightly annoying) and her smile just brilliant. She had many friends and loved each of us as precious gifts. When we spent time together, she'd always make me feel like the most important person in her life. I know she made a lot of people feel this way. She was like this with all her friends, making us feel so special and worthwhile.
Despite the geographical distance between us in the last five years, we remained so close - never losing the bond that we shared when we met in 1999.
Unfortunately, underneath her bubbly facade, she battled demons too strong for her fragile mind to handle. Despite the happy face she put on when she was with her friends, when she was alone I think her depression took hold of her and this last time, it won the battle.

This makes me so angry, so upset.
Suicide should not even be an option. Imagine everything your parents went through; those sleepless nights, all that money spent; joyful tears preparing you for school, for life. It's a long and difficult process to bring life into this world. Nine months of your mother's pregnant struggle and years to mould you into becoming a good human being.
Yet it is just so easy to die.
A pill too many, a cut too deep. A step too quick, a step too late.
We really do have the choice to just end it. But it doesn’t mean we should.
The impact of this kind of decision affects so many people. Even my friends who didn't know her personally feel affected by it.
It's because a bright, young girl of 25 years, simply gave up.

I guess now all we can do is accept her decision. It's her life, and if it was that unbearable, can we really blame her? We never knew the extent of her pain, and it's too late to do anything about it now. I just wonder what we could have done. I guess her closest friends did know that she was depressed and some of us may have even knew she was suicidal. But she was taking the right meds, talking to professionals. We loved and supported her, I'm sure she knew this. So what else could have been done? Like I said, we never knew her pain, we never walked in her shoes.

I’m just so distraught and confused. I don't want to believe the fact that she's gone, and I'm upset that she's done it on her own will. I'm upset that I'll never, ever see her again. I'm upset that I can't be there at home supporting the rest of our friend group during this time. I'm angry at whatever it was that caused her sadness. I'm angry that she couldn't have been the strong girl I knew her to be all through high school. Maybe I'm also angry at myself for not being around to help her when she probably needed me most? It hurts knowing that maybe I didn't take her seriously enough all the time. The thought is killing me...

But all I have now are the memories.

Since she moved to my high school, the 'popular kids' always had a thing against her. She stood up to them though. Made sure they knew she was a force to be reckoned with. She remained the bigger person, more likable than any of the rest. I remember she gave me all the advice I needed for my first high school boyfriend. She squealed excitedly and shook me silly when I told her of my first kiss. Then she helped me make the poor boy jealous when things didn't work out. We, along with the rest of our 'gang' prepared ourselves for her sweet sixteenth - her first house party. Then at the end of the night after all the gatecrashers left, we all stood garbage bags in hand, picking up empty bottles off the whole street. I let her dye my hair once, just before the exam period. It turned out crazily blotchy and after a couple of comments about my zebra hair colour, was forced to wear my hair up in a bun for the rest of the day. We loved the beach, and when the weather in Melbourne permitted (rarely), we'd be tanning buddies. She'd always win the race for a darker tan. And also she was the very first person to see me in a bikini! I remember we'd always have the same haircut - by chance. After graduation, we met up one day, the first time in months since we started uni, and there we were with the same straight-bang haircut. Totally psychic (that's what she'd always say).
Just last October, she was with me when I got my first tattoo. We both got one on our arm.
We wanted to keep one another in our sleeves as a reminder that we were never alone.
She got a tulip (her favourite flower), and the English translation of her Persian name, 'buttercup'.
There are so many more memories just racing through my mind. I'm trying to savour each and every one, never wanting to forget her.
She knew me inside out, she knew my beliefs, I knew hers. We knew each others fears and doubts, hopes and dreams.

I will miss her so much.

I still can't believe you're gone.
May your soul now rest in peace, Alaleh.
26/8/1984 - 29/1/2010
xx

Romantical.

I'm listening to Sarah Blasko's album 'As Day Follows Night', especially on the first track 'Down on Love'. It's kind of got me in this sweet mood; you'll need to listen to the song first to understand.
I did quite a lot of shopping today at Dubai Mall. Bought this pink floral dress from Peacock (and six other dresses from Debenhams, Topshop and Oasis).
I also had my hair curled at the salon just a few hours ago. Feeling quite ditzy-daisy and lovely right now.

(Please try to excuse the mess in my room. I've been wanting to rearrange everything and will hopefully start this month.)

Anyway, try to find the song online. Actually I'd recommend the whole album. It's got a kind of whimsical folk sound to it, of course lead beautifully by Sarah's soft, haunting voice. Just by listening to her you can kind of tell what she'd look like. To be honest, I don't know much about her personally or her style, but she seems like one of them vintage chic women. And you gotta give props to girls that do the vintage chic well!
I'm loving the butterfly brooch she's got on in this picture below.

Hoot hoot.

Just a typical work outfit photo up from me here, now that the week's finally closed and I can enjoy the weekend!!!

My favourite bag lately is this wonderfully kitsch owl bag I bought from Chinese Dragonmart in Dubai. Always makes me feel like Harry Potter when I use it and most always get odd looks from people. I love her though, she's like a pet.

The glasses I found in a thrift store for a couple of dollars, fun, but they're a little too big to actually wear out.

I leave that kind of fashion to my mum - early 90s yo. Ain't she sweet? ;)

Do you remember Agathe Bjørnsdatter?

Agathe, the quintessential fashion blogger, updated her blog stylebytes several times a week, letting us into her wardrobe and weekends in her hometown of Oslo. She started back in 2005 with thrift tips and DIY tricks but in her later posts, you see her getting more creative with photography (and of course, who could forget her pet pig, Molvin). A regular feature in other fashion blogs and even magazines, Agathe truly was the perfect thrift style queen.

Her last blog post was dated April 2008 where she mentioned she was leaving on a trip to Stockholm and then, unfortunately for us, her loyal readers, she hasn't updated since.
Many months after her absence there were quite a few posts from readers asking 'where is Agathe?' and theories on why she stopped blogging. Maybe she just got bored and wanted her private life back. Or maybe something bad happened. I believe Agathe is OK though, and she still looks gorgeous as ever.

Below are a few of my favorite photos from stylebytes, and examples of Agathe's individual style. I remember first reading her blog when I came back to Dubai in November 2006. I wasn't working for the first few months, so was online a lot, and with Melbourne still on my mind, experimenting with styles. She's a great role model for looking chic on a low budget.

Also what I loved about her was that she was always way before the 'trend'. Believe me, if we'd seen something cool, Agathe most definitely tried it out and blogged about it first. So, this is a tribute to http://stylebytes.net/, in my opinion still the best fashion blog ever.

70+ items I now want. Thanks.

The January issue of W Magazine in the States has a glorious spread of '70+ looks for the New Year and the New Season'.

I just want to say WOW.

I would love to wear every single outfit in this shoot! Just perfect.

To view the whole spread, click: W Magazine - January 2010

 

Eye In Eye.

When our eyes met invisible hands wove fine threads that ran through your great eyes into my eyes knitting our hearts together. - Edvard Munch

Zooey Deschanel.

One Hollywood starlet's style that I've always admired is the delightful Zooey Deschanel.
She can be described as offbeat, quirky, sweet, indie, etc, but whatever category she gets put into, there's no denying she sits there perfectly dressed! I'm a girly girl and I love wearing dresses all the time, so it's great seeing Zooey work the circuit in sweet dresses, but nothing too glam like the rest of Hollywood.

What I like about her look is that it's accessible and modest. Accessible in a way that although she fits in at these big events, she also wouldn't be out of place on a dinner date with a partner, or a night out with the girls. I feel the girl's got an 'old soul', and can pretty much get away with anything fashionwise. She could rock up to an event in a cardboard box with a cute little bow in her hair and still look amazing. :-)

To Do List:

1. Become bff's with Zooey Deschanel

2. Once bff's, totally borrow all her cool clothes

3. Ask her to introduce me all the cool muso friends of her husband Ben Gibbard (YES, of Death Cab For Cutie)

4. Marry a cool indie rocker and dress super cute all the time

5. Slowly become a carbon copy of Zooey Deschanel

Obsessed? Me? Never!

Wedding.

I attended my good friends Kim & Lars' wedding in Manila, Philippines last week. The morning of the wedding, I was at the mall with my cousins doing a sort of 'amazing race' of shopping. We had 1 hour only, to find many things. I was looking for shawl, cardigan, bag, and a new dress because I didn't feel like wearing the one i originally picked out.

I ended up finding everything I needed plus more. I picked up the cute parasol I'm holding there for only 395 pesos. Unfortunately I forgot that at the apartment and didn't bring it back with me to Dubai! Eventually, I just wore the dress I originally bought for the wedding (a vintage find off ebay), despite buying two new dresses for the day... Well, a girl's gotta have options!!

My friend and fellow blogger Mr. Manalo, also came wearing pink, I think we're quite a cute couple.

At the end of the evening, the bride & groom gifted us with fireworks! It was a perfect fairytale wedding.

xoxo Melbourne.

Melbourne, my hometown, my first love.

Everytime I make the trip home (usually once or twice a year)... it stresses me. I love the city, I spent the first 20 years of my life in that city. I think that's why going back tires me out so much. Too many memories and things trying to hold me back.

This is why I like the current track I'm headed on.

On this particular sunny day in Melbourne (my last day there actually), I'm wearing  Kate Moss for Topshop print dress with a Jeanswest denim vest over it. I love the vest, I've been wearing it almost over everything since I got it! So nice to 'conservatise' the outfit, especially in places like Dubai. ;)

Happy new year!

I hope your celebrations were full of fireworks and frivolousity ;)

Here's an excerpt from my favourite poem by John Keats called 'Fancy'.

I don't make new year resolutions, but as every year, I aim to see new cities and live new experiences.

Let's continue to live happily in a fanciful wanderlust.

Oh, sweet Fancy! let her loose;
Every thing is spoilt by use:
Where's the cheek that doth not fade,
Too much gaz'd at? Where's the maid
Whose lip mature is ever new?
Where's the eye, however blue,
Doth not weary? Where's the face
One would meet in every place?
Where's the voice, however soft,
One would hear so very oft?
At a touch sweet Pleasure melteth
Like to bubbles when rain pelteth.
Let, then, winged Fancy find
Thee a mistress to thy mind:
Dulcet-ey'd as Ceres' daughter
Ere the God of Torment taught her
How to frown and how to chide;
With a waist and with a side
White as Hebe's, when her zone
Slipt its golden clasp, and down
Fell her kirtle to her feet,
While she held the goblet sweet
And Jove grew languid.--Break the mesh
Of the Fancy's silken leash;
Quickly break her prison-string
And such joys as these she'll bring.--
Let the winged Fancy roam,
Pleasure never is at home.

Roast potatoes.

Today is Christmas and although I don't celebrate this (another place, another time), I do appreciate the whole festive season and the way everyone is just in a much more jolly mood. My good friend Gabby held a small and intimate dinner last week, and I guess you can say it was my first Christmas dinner (at 24 years old!)

The turkey was perfect and the roast potatoes just divine. I can understand how everyone complains about putting on weight during these weeks... It's hard to resist when so much delicious food is available...

This morning I went to church and we had a special thanksgiving service. There are definitely a lot that I need to be thankful for. My health, my happiness, and the health and happiness of my loved ones.

I hope you and your families enjoy yourselves over the holidays!

Cloud babies.

My friend just sent me a 3D ultrasound photo of her niece. Technology is wondrous, and you could see all the physical features of the little one, down to her toothless smile. It just reminded me of something you might see up in the sky, like a cloud formation.

Maybe babies, though still physically in the tummies of theirs mummies, have their souls wandering around the skies. Laughing like thunder and slobbering like rain.

Sylvia Ji.

Sylvia Ji is a San Francisco based artist who paints hauntingly beautiful portraits such as the ones above.

The first portrait above is called "He Loves Me Not", and the second "He Loves Me". I think they are both amazing.

Check out her work at: http://www.sylviaji.com/

Good to be a carnivore.

Last week for my best friend's birthday, a group of us went out to The Meat Co at Souk Al Bahar.

Are you a vegetarian? My god, you are missing out.

I ordered only a 200g New Zealand fillet, it was the smallest steak they had on menu, but it was just amazing. I really wonder how the bigger (pricier) steaks would have tasted because this one was just amazing! We also got to embarrass the kid with a big Zulu birthday song with chants and drums and all. Love you Dee ;)

In totally synched girlfriends style, we all pretty much rocked out on blue toned outfits. I thought that was pretty awesome.